Why do you need donations? If you're financially struggling, why don't you just ask Misha for help? You and he are BFFs, according to you. Surely he'd give some money to such a close friend.



i never said me and misha were close? i wouldn’t even say we have a professional relationship, or even a relationship alone

i’m good friends with osric, but i wouldn’t ask him for money, even if it meant getting a lifesaving operation.

the money that’s been donated means more to me because it’s from you guys. it means so much more. £5 from a follower would mean more than £100 from misha or osric

you’re all more like my family than followers, since you’re who i come to first when i have a problem

i'm sorry about the gishwhes trailer but it's not your fault what happened so don't beat yourself up for it. I'm 100% sure you did a fantastic job, as you always do. sending you all my love and best of luck for the future for you and your family. <3

thank you so much ;n;

You are a wonderful editor, him having another editor tear the video apart doesn't change that. This happens to even the best, it's a part of the business. Just take notes on what they ended up doing instead and learn from your experience here. You're going to run into this again, even if you have the perfect edit your client may have something else in mind, but it isn't a judgement on your ability to do a good job. Remember that and keep doing what you love. Good luck!

after i got over the initial shock, i realised that at the end of the day, he got the video he wanted, so that’s all that mattered. people liked it.

i spent six hours editing the video for him, in a panicked, stressed state because it had taken so long to find free music that was decent and to fit everything in as he wanted me to

i’m still really bitter about it, but it was a learning curve for me, so at the same time, i’m almost glad he did it

the worst part is that my parents are so proud of me for editing the video for gishwhes. my fiance was really proud too. after i saw what had happened to the video, i tried hard to put on a brave face but i ended up crying and my fiance had to comfort me. ((i’m not much of crier so it was a bit of a shock to him))

i had to tell my parents too. 

it was just embarrassing

I really agree with what you have to say about the supernatural fandom. It has become just a sprawl of negativity and that is why I have taken a step back as well. I think im going to stick with it because i feel like i have to see the end. I also love principle the show was started on: the love of two brothers.

i know exactly what you mean

to me, it’s always been about two brothers, and then three brothers when cas came along

before i started getting deep into the spn fandom, i adored the show for everything it was. and then i got into the fandom and it just ruined everything

fandom may help some people - it’s helped me - but it’s also ruined me. so i think i might stick to watching shows and not getting involved with fandoms from now on

((i’m watching House at the moment and i love it so i’m just gonna watch that and enjoy it for what it is))

i have 4000 messages in my inbox

why am i so terrible at replying to things

i personally apologise for anyone i ignored unintentionally

What personal issues do you have with Misha, if you don't mind me asking?

it’s nothing major

i edited the gishwhes trailer for him - as i’ve been doing for three years - and followed all the specifications he gave me

and when i sent it to him, he got a different editor to tear it apart. none of my original video is left except for my audio. and i got no reasoning for it from him

it was a huge blow to my self-esteem, since misha was someone i looked up to HUGELY. i nearly gave up editing for good

while i know the video i sent wasn’t the best it could be, i just didn’t understand and i still don’t, really

im so sorry you feel that why and i will miss you bex. again im so sorry on behalf of the rest of the fandom

don’t apologise for the rest of the fandom omg pls don’t

if i feel better about it all when i get my internet, i’ll come back, and just be a safe haven for those who are on the same page as me. i’d rather i have a small following of people who want to enjoy spn for what it is (like me) than have a large following of people, most of which will question my every opinion

This is coming from someone who's not in it, but what's so bad about the supernatural fandom? Can't imagine it's worse than Sherlock's...

trust me, i was in sherlock’s and that was nothing compared to this

i care about issues like representation and feminism and i agree that television shows need to be more open to the idea of homosexual couples

but that is literally ALL the spn fandom care about now. it’s no longer about the show as a show. 

i haven’t seen ANYTHING positive. the supernatural fandom has become a spawn of negativity and is full of miserable people. i feel sorry for them, of course, because they’re not getting what they’re asking for (the writers need to listen to their fans more) but it’s getting to the point where they are aggressive and rude, and i’m really embarrassed to be a fan of the show

i would be embarrassed to go to conventions and face those actors, knowing that i’m being pegged as ‘just another fan’, when i love the show for what it is (despite it’s past seasons iffy storyline)

it’s also hard to watch when i’ve got personal issues regarding misha and i’m still not quite sure where i stand with him

so yeah


A brilliant metaphor



This is important to know. As we evolve, so does our external reality.

Gonna let go for GOOD.

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